Transforming oneself takes work and a lot of focus.  For someone with Intention Deficit Disorder like I have (not ADD), this is a challenge. 

Since my last check-in here, I've lost 4 inches off my waist.  I''ve trimmed away 6 pounds, l lost several inches in other places, and been working out at the gym and walking.  I've also dumped a boat-load of inner garbage with lots of forgiving and blessing. It's amazing how healing that is.  It's a huge realization that we all have something to give, no matter how small, and giving is the start of healing.  Give what you can while  filling yourself with love, inspiration and blessings. Then you have something of value to share with others.  

Too many people feel unworthy of such goodness and feel they have nothing to share.  Share something  anyway - even if it's just a smile.  A smile can save a life if someone has lost all hope.  So, smile....and BE the change for peace and love that we so desperately need in this world.   

Until next time - blessings my friends.

... I think she wilted in this Colorado heat.  I've wilted for sure.  No inspiration.  No insights.  Just hot.

Speaking of hot, I've started my Transformation and in 18 weeks there will be a new me - from the inside out. That's a promise - to me mostly.  

                 Here's a  sneak peak at the new transformed me.



                                                            

The last major transformation I went through was in 2000.  By transformation, I mean being physically, mentally, spiritually and emotionally balancedl  Transformation to me means being in command of my life and being confident that I can handle life's challenges with the best I have to offer.

In 2000, I completed the 12-week Body for Life Challenge and felt fantastic.  Physically, I was in better shape than at any time in my life.  I was praying and meditating daily.  I was giving to others of the best I had to give.   My "house" was in order and that is a very good place to be. 

Today, I have begun, once-again, a transformation challenge to be the best I can be - physically fit, committed to positive change, finding the strength within to make committments and keep them - starting with myself!   Being the change and part of the solution to life's challenges feels good.  I've been there.  I know.  I'm ready to be there again. 

I got lazy.  I got depressed. I let it all go in a major case of self-sabotage.  Transformation is taking back command of ME - not life, that's beyond my control.  It's being in command of ME.  That is the true challenge and winning that challenge is a true transformation.

If anyone else is interested, check out The Transformation and take command of your life. 

In 2000, I completed a 12-week fitness challenge called Body for Life.  Three days of cardio and three days of aerobic exercise a week.  I lifted weights, I worked out on the elliptical and I walked miles.  I have never felt better in my life physically, mentally and spiritually.  I was ALIVE in every way. 

I maintained this wonderful feeling for four years, then after I got injured, I let it all go.  I sat, I ate, I grew fatter and fatter.  The more I ate the less I did and the worse I felt. 

Today, I took my "before" pictures to begin a new journey of Transformation that begins tomorrow, June 23, 2008.  It's a 12-week whole-person challenge to be the best I can be.  I looked at my pictures today and I looked at my "after" pictures from 2000 and  I cried.

Why did I let it all go?  Why did I sabotage myself, my health, my joy, my self-esteem? Why do any of us sabotage our joy?  I was happy and I let it all go.  Got lazy, made excuses, blamed others...all the cop-out b---s--- of a real loser. 

I'm through being a victim  - being a cop-out.  Tomorrow I begin anew.  Tomorrow I start my Transformation.   But today - today I cried.

Do you think you're a good communicator?

Years ago I did a seminar in Aspen with Tony Robbins and the subject for one day was communication.  He asked everyone in the room to pair up with a partner and write down ten words that we associated with the word "sex."  Now everyone knows what it means when someone says, "let's have sex," right? 

At the end of 10 minutes, he had us compare our list of ten words with our partner's list. Then Tony asked how many teams of two had the same words on their lists for "sex."   In the whole room, only 2 teams had 2 words alike (only four people out of approximately 500) and in surveying the rest of the room individually, no 2 people had even 5 words alike on our lists. 

One lady, raised on a farm, had the word "pigs" on her list that she associated with "sex."  Imagine her significant other asking her for "hot" sex while she's thinking "pigs." 

Communication is a challenge.  We can never assume that we are making ourselves clear.  Assume only means making an "ASS of U and ME." 

So if your'e feeling misunderstood or not getting the "love" you want, there may be a good reason.  It could all be in your definition of "sex." 

Check back later for my definition of TRANSFORMATION.  Monday is the big day for the start of mine!

Happy communicating....

I've got that feeing - the one that says "it's now or never."  Friday, June 21, 2008,
 I will begin a journey of Transformation.  It is a body, mind and soul journey
inspired by Bill Phillips, the Body for Life creator, and fueled by a 15-year-old girl
named Jonnae Taylor.  If you're not familiar with Bill Phillps and his Body for Life
Challenge, you can Google Body for Life or go to The Transformation and learn
about his vision for whole person fitness. 

There, you can also read about Jonnae Taylor, a brave and positive 15-year-old
young lady who died last week from leukemia.  Jonnae's story is uplfiting and
inspiring.  Her view of life every day was "I get to...." and never "I have to..." 

Because of these two people, Bill Phllips and Jonnae Taylor, I realized that I get
to choose health, joy, love, companionship.  I get to live each day or waste each
day.  It's all my choice.  I get to be fit or I get to be fat and miserable.  I get to inspire
and help others or I get to let them down and myself.  I get to do these things because
 I am alive and life is a precious gift.

Friday, I get to start a journey of Transformation.  Join me in my journey.

The HOT Pink Wall - Before.   

The conspiracy ends this weekend.  ( See prevoius Conspiracy blog posts!)


To be continued.......

It's back.  THE DREAM.  I first had it when I was 10 years old and that was when I totally abandoned the concept of Hell. I KNEW in my 10-year-old heart that my God could never create something as hideous as hell and be a loving God.  It was also a time of great emotional pain in my life.  

 The dream  seems to return every 10 to 15  years and when it does, it heralds an awakening of some sort either emotionally or spiritually.  Now, it's back in it's realism and full sensory presentation. 

The Dream:  I am sound asleep and then it starts.  I am totally aware as I watch it unfold, knowing that I cannot stop it until the end and I cannot alter it, nor do I want to.  I watch as if watching a movie in full surround sound and 3-D. It is in color and I see and feel everything that happens with more awareness than anything I've experienced when "awake."

As the dream begins, my first awareness is of a large brick wall.  It is illuminated by torch lights flickering and casting shadows on the wall. Then, I see it.  The shadow on the wall.  It''s here  and my initial reaction is fear.  I watch as the shadow on the wall rises up  in chilling hooded beauty.  It sees me and for a moment there is fear - then recognition of something understood, something eternal.

I look around and realize that I am surrounded by death.  I am here to serve the dead.    Is it a temple?  No, I believe it is a tomb. 

I look again at the hooded King Cobra moving slowly toward me and my fear drains away.  I wait, silent and still, hearing only the faint gliding of the snake across the floor - the only sound in this chamber of death. 

It is close to me now and again it rises up.  We look at each other and I sense something indescribably beautiful, profound.  I experience an overwhelming sense of something akin to LOVE and JOY when I look into the eyes of the cobra.  Mesmerized, I slowly hold out my right arm in offering to the cobra. 

There is a slight sting as I look down at its head and feel it's fangs sink into my arm.  Only a slight sting, then searing fire followed by chilling cold.  I feel it all so profoundly.  Then I feel myself falling, falling, falling.  Then floating.  The momentary darkness is gone and now there is light.  I look down and see myself lying on the floor.  My white temple garment and my black wig.  I was there to serve the god on Earth. 

Then I see it, the cobra.  Gently he glides past my lifeless form as if in final farewell.  He has freed me from a slow death.  He has honored our contract, an eternal contract I believe.  I watch him and feel an overwhelming sense of gratitude and love.  Farewell, my liberator, my teacher, my friend. 

I look at what  I know for certain is a tomb now.  I look at my body.  I look at the dead around me.  And I watch the cobra disappear.  I am still very much aware of everything.  I understand things clearly.  I see a benefactor and friend in a King Cobra.  I feel the Truth all around me.  I sense Eternity.  I am more alive than in life itself!   Then I wake up.  

I have had this "dream," my special gift, several times throughout my life.  And for the last six nights, The Dream has returned.  I stand, once again, on the threshold of something wonderful. 



 

Recently I wrote about my ADHD every time I set intentions.  (See Conspiracy post below.) 
I was going to declutter my basement and take off a pants size in the process, when I got sidetracked by the kitchen wall paper I so hated and started yanking away.  Well, if you read my previous blog, you know that at the end of the weekend, the wallpaper was down, the basement was still cluttered, my butt was still fat, and I had rediscovered a hot pink kitchen wall I'd forgotten was hidden under the wallpaper. 

Well, this past weekend on the way to buy paint to cover the hot pink wall, my husband asked for something that I was pretty sure was in the basement.  I went down to get it and several hours later, I came upstairs after ripping hellicatoot out of the basement!  I didn't find what he was looking for, but I sure found alot of other cool stuff - oil paints, canvas, pastels, all manner of heavenly delights for an artist.  So, I yanked it all out, brought some of it up to the kitchen (the one with the hot pink wall I was going to paint, remember?) and now I really have a mess.  I'm all inspired to oil paint but now I can't find the kitchen table.  And, the kitchen table faces the hot pink wall! 

The basement is really a mess now.  The hot pink wall is still VERY pink.  The kitchen table is lost to a pile of stuff from the basement, and my butt hasn't changed one bit in size!  So, now it's confirmed.   I really do have "intention ADHD." 

Work!   When I'm working and haven't the time to be creative, I'm full of ideas and inspiration. 
When I'm through working (12 hour days), I'm tired.  And so goes my creativity!