Inspired and humbled -
Angel
Since joining Gaia a little over two weeks ago, I have connected with some incredible "friends" and other websites that are truly amazing.
I have been inspired by the blogspots of Jackie, the Passionate Healer, and Gabriele, the Intuitive Writer, and realized that all of my life, I have suppressed my creative urges because "I need to make money" and "I don't have time or it isn't practical because I'm not good enough." I have been so busy working, that I forgot to live! What a high price I have paid for my lack of faith and low self-esteem.
I have waited for life to happen to me, not by me. I have spent my life, literally, waiting for things to change. Waiting until I win the lotto or have a financial windfall. Waiting until I'm good enough. Waiting until.....what - I die?
Ten years ago when I was in intense emotional and spiritual crisis, I wrote the following words in my journal:
"God asked me to love. Life asked me to live. Fear asked me to lie.
I chose the lie."
How many of us have chosen "the lie?" How many of us have betrayed our inner dreams, our passion, or sense of fun and adventure for the practical (?) side of life? I have lived my parents' work ethic. Find a job, stay put, and be thankful for what your have because it could be a whole lot worse. I never realized until recently that maybe it, i. e., life, things, whatever, could be a whole lot better, too! I could be a whole lot better!
So, to my new friends at Gaia, and those who are not yet friends, I say thank you for sharing your thoughts and ideas and for inpiring me. I pray it's not too late to "grow up.
Years ago, I chose the lie. Now, I'm ready to love and live.
Drum roll, please......
Access: Public
creativity
July 2008
Hi, Angel,
You made a perfect description of my own process as well. Very wise words, thank you!
When we free ourselves from fear- which is the absence of faith…we tell the Universe that we have arrived.
None of 'it' has been in vain- to change the journey would mean not being here…now…
By removing anything that is not
Peaceful,Loving,Joyful or of Service, we open ourselves to the abubdance that the Universe has to offer.
I refuse to accept human limitations of Fear- Hate-Chaos/Drama- Selfishness-blame-victim- because I now love myself, have forgiven myself and I share myself in a purely unconditional way….finally…. :)
Angel- the key is you.
From you all things flow .
I too was in search when I found this place and the souls that fed me were Enlightened thinker (Aley), Traveling Aalchemist (Grace)- Kes- Fred- and many others…they gave me hope, and courage,and support- although they may not know that -they changed the course of my life.
When the student is ready the teacher appears.
It is an ongoing cycle of learning and teaching and so it begins for you……
You too will be an inspiration to somone reading your thoughts and experiences and you will give them the spiritual food that will light the fire of their soul…
I wish you Love, Peace Joy and Abundance.
Marianne
Angel, lovely post. I know that place you have described here so well.
I have waited for life to happen to me, not by me. I have spent my life, literally, waiting for things to change. Waiting until I win the lotto or have a financial windfall. Waiting until I'm good enough. Waiting until…..what - I die?
Especially the not being good enough, oh how I know that one! I think you're going to love Michele Cassou. She teaches a way of becoming aware of these voices, these inner critics, and how to use them to find an opening of your authentic self expression… for me it worked magic. Because, in my experience, these voices and feelings and patterns and belief systems don't neccessarily disappear once we've become aware of them. Some of them might be our companions for all of our lives.
I have spent many many years trying to find ways to change and better myself and get rid of all that I found unpleasant and limiting and unsatisfying… until I realized that we usually don't get rid of who we are and of what has shaped us. That it is much more about opening up then about becoming a different person.
We can change by dealing with things, thoughts, fears… in different ways. We can accept what we don't like about ourselves, we can embrace what we don't want to be, and we can get to know these voices that want to keep us safe, secure, predictable and small, and stop giving them energy and the power to rule our lives.
For me, diving into creative processes has been incredibly supportive for finding out more about who I really am and integrating parts that I thought I had to hide, get rid of and never tell anybody about . Writing has done a lot for me in that department, but I know you can do the same with anything that supports you to be present, and honest with yourself.
The best part about it is that it's fun. :)
Very much looking forward to hearing more about your journey - I find you inspiring already!
Much love,
Gabriele