Today I cried -

In 2000, I completed a 12-week fitness challenge called Body for Life.  Three days of cardio and three days of aerobic exercise a week.  I lifted weights, I worked out on the elliptical and I walked miles.  I have never felt better in my life physically, mentally and spiritually.  I was ALIVE in every way. 

I maintained this wonderful feeling for four years, then after I got injured, I let it all go.  I sat, I ate, I grew fatter and fatter.  The more I ate the less I did and the worse I felt. 

Today, I took my "before" pictures to begin a new journey of Transformation that begins tomorrow, June 23, 2008.  It's a 12-week whole-person challenge to be the best I can be.  I looked at my pictures today and I looked at my "after" pictures from 2000 and  I cried.

Why did I let it all go?  Why did I sabotage myself, my health, my joy, my self-esteem? Why do any of us sabotage our joy?  I was happy and I let it all go.  Got lazy, made excuses, blamed others...all the cop-out b---s--- of a real loser. 

I'm through being a victim  - being a cop-out.  Tomorrow I begin anew.  Tomorrow I start my Transformation.   But today - today I cried.